Venturing into the art world full of brilliant visionaries and deep thinkers has been humbling for me. I find myself surrounded by people who look at the world differently and who force me to go home and rethink the world I thought I lived in. On this journey I have evolved so much. I find a lot more beauty in people, in the art they create and in my surroundings. I am more patient and try to remember that everyone is on their own journey and don't necessarily care about mine (that "what, it isn't about me?" moment was painful at best). Most of all I try to live in the moment. I consciously file the images of my adventures and everyday pleasures into my mind so that I can savor them, relive them and smile. I try to mentally capture the smell of campfires, the sounds of someone laughing, the cold air on my skin as I go downhill on my bike, the way food and drink feel in my mouth -- really anything to stay in the moment so my mind doesn't wander off to worry about trivial things that may or may not be in my future. Pottery and art have given me this gift of self awareness. I no longer drive home without admiring the beautiful mountains that surround me and wonder how I can capture the colors and the shapes in my pottery.
It hasn't all been wonderful. I quit my job a year ago to do the pottery full-time. And that is exactly what I did. I was in the studio all day and a good part of the night. I obsessed over how many pots I could make in a day, how many firings I could do in a week. It became so mechanical that the joy of creating a beautiful pot was almost lost. I never left the house and the more I was in the house the more I didn't want to leave. So, much to my surprise and dismay I discovered that I wasn't ready to be a full-time potter because I didn't know how to let it be a part of my life and not be my entire life.
That is when I learned my most important lesson -- balance. You have to have balance in your life. I had lost that because I didn't know when to let go.
I took a "real" job working on a project that has an end date (don't want to have too much commitment!). I have started riding my bike, working on my gardens and making time for my kids and friends. And making time to enjoy the creative process of making my pottery. I will be a part-time potter for a couple more years while I figure out how to balance my life and hopefully will go back to it full-time. I learned so much from this experience -- most importantly that I am in control of my life and when something starts to take that control from me, I know now how to to recognize what is happening and adjust.
